Are you in a relationship with herpes? You may find a person who feels that herpes is a burden on top of many to contend with in his or her life. Reassure your friend that dealing with herpes is really quite simple and that it will be, for the most part, only an occasional annoyance.
Be able to handle questions in a straightforward manner with realistic facts. Stress but don’t overemphasize the reality that with mutual understanding and cooperation the risk of transmission is negligible.
Remember, with understanding and experience, there are all sorts of ways to satisfy each other’s sexual needs and to help each other’s emotional ones. Don’t be afraid to be frank about how you deal with herpes. Inhibitions about sexual and emotional communication are not far behind those about herpes. Open communication can go a long way toward establishing a relationship and bring herpes into its proper perspective. And while there is no specific behavioral prescription for how to deal with herpes in a blossoming relationship, if you keep these guidelines in mind, you’ll have little trouble. At the same time you’ll be contributing to the education of another human being.
How Couples Handle The Situation
Most couples where one person has herpes appear to handle the situation rather well so long as there aren’t other non-herpes related issues at stake. However, a major possibility is that herpes can take on a central role in the relationship. Yes, herpes may have to be monitored and taken into consideration in a couple’s sex life. But if herpes is the central pivot about which decisions are made, then it will undoubtedly become a focus for emotional friction. This doesn’t have to be the case. Obviously, adjustment takes some time; but once it is accomplished, herpes should be reduced to its realistic perspective.
Using herpes as a scapegoat, however, can cause some difficulties. Let’s look at that a little more closely. The line between a real problem with herpes as a barrier to intimacy and a need for a handy excuse to avoid intimacy is a fine one and part of the emotional matrix associated with herpes. A man or woman may indeed feel turned off, impotent or frigid because of herpes, whether the virus is present or not. This should not be confused with other motivations that have not been clarified or worked of by between the partners. How do you tell the difference? It is an area that has kept psychiatrists and psychologists busy for a long time. What are people really saying each other? And how do they resolve problems? This has to do with how people relate in general and not just herpes.
Under ordinary circumstances, relationships can be out of balance when both persons’ needs are not met. Herpes can be used to aggravate already existing imbalances. Remember, you are always dealing with people in their entirety, and they with you, not just the herpes virus. Decisions should be made with regard to another person not with regard to herpes.
An outbreak of herpes in one or both partners may many emotional connotations depending on how each individual has learned to react, but it has only one physical effect: no one should touch the sores. It does not necessarily mean foregoing orgasm even for the partner who is experiencing the symptoms. (Necessarily, because many people simply do not feel sexual at that time, or there” may; sufficient discomfort to preclude orgasm.
That’s not uncommon at all (individual responses cover a wide range) If orgasm by intercourse is at times difficult, remember that intimacy is not restricted to intercourse. Try not to place too many restraints on sexual expression, as it may be hard your partner. Curiously and creatively exploring new sensations, feelings, and sexual techniques can increase, wellsprings of love for life and be a great boon to your love life.
You never know what you might learn and enjoy beyond the role you are “supposed” to take in sex. Caressing, caring, and closeness are sometimes what a person would most like. If you ﬁnd yourself unable to cope with difficult circumstances in sex, I quickly recommend professional counseling.
Obviously we can’t always go around with creative exploration on our minds. Herpes can cause some trials and tribulations that require support and understanding from friends and lovers. But the point is that emotional and sexual interchange between partners need not be immensely affected, and isn’t for the vast majority of people.
People have rather amazing tolerances, strengths, and creativity when they get over the initial problems. This article was researched and designed to help get you through and beyond those early adjustments. But again, ask for help if it seems to be taking too long. It’s your life. Use every means at your disposal to live it as well as you can.