Become The Man You Always Wanted To Be (Part 1)

In this article, I will discuss how you can become the man you have always wanted to be.

Evolutionary Adaptation and Social Conditioning

The irrational fears that modern day men have of approaching, meeting, attracting, and dating women have evolved over thousands of years.

These fears have been HARDWIRED into us since before our birth, for our benefit. They all act as a type of protection mechanism to ensure the survival and replication of our genes.

However, these protection mechanisms are the reason why we experience such anxiety when it comes to approaching, meeting, attracting, and dating new desirable, beautiful women.

Understanding What Causes Fear

In order for us to conquer these irrational fears of approaching, meeting, attracting, and dating women, it’s VITAL that we know and understand out of what necessity these fears came into existence… and what we can do to override them.

You see, in ancient times, way before the Greeks and the Egyptians, even before there were any signs of civilization at all, mankind used to live in  very small tribes consisting of 50 to 150 people.

The lifestyle back then was very much based upon hunting and gathering. The core skillset of their daily lives was their ability to find and secure resources, while fending off danger.

Whether it was a dangerous wild animal or competition for resources from enemy tribes, danger was always close at hand. Therefore, they had to do the best they could to keep their tribe strong and secure.

Now, let’s say for example that you happened to be a part of a tribe, but you were neither the tribal leader nor anyone of the alpha males of the group, and you approached one of the tribal leader’s or alpha male’s women to whom you were extremely attracted.

What do you think would happen?

They would either:

1. Ostracize you from the tribe

2. They would kill you

Sounds fun, eh?

Fear of Approaching Women

This fear of being ostracized or beaten to death for approaching the wrong woman is very similar to the fear that you experience when thinking of approaching an exceptionally beautiful woman at a bar, lounge, or club because she might have a boyfriend… and if that boyfriend were to see you hitting on his woman, he’d probably beat you up… so out of that fear, you don’t approach that exceptionally beautiful woman at all.

Now, this fear of being “ostracized” or “beaten to death” for approaching the wrong woman isn’t the only fear that “protects” us…

There are actually two others fears that were just as critical in the evolution of our development as a male species.

Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection is the most common form of fear experienced among men in today’s society.

This is not a coincidence however, because this fear has been HARDWIRED into us for our protection.

If you study our ancient ancestors, who lived in these very small tribes consisting of 50 to 150 people, there wouldn’t be too many young, beautiful, healthy women to choose from.

If you lived in a tribe of 100 people and half of them were women, you would be left with 50 women.

Out of those 50 women, if you were to take away underage girls, old women, and women who already had a protector or husband, then you would only be left with anywhere between 5 and 15 truly available women.

And out of these 5 to 15 women, not all of them were desirable, so realistically you’re only left with 3 to 4 beautiful women that you would actually want to mate and reproduce with, but here’s the catch… so do all the other men of the tribe.

Competition for Women

If you happened to make a move on one of these available, beautiful women and she rejected you, then guess what?

ALL the other available women of the tribe would know about it, and you’d AUTOMATICALLY be seen as an undesirable mating partner to all the other available women in your tribe.

And since you’re not mating with anyone, then your genes would become extinct and there would be no left to carry on your name.

But lucky for us today, this fear of rejection is now outdated! And this is why the fear of rejection is irrational now…

Because if you were to get rejected by one woman in today’s society, it wouldn’t mean that you’re not able to “mate” with anyone else…

There are thousands of beautiful women filling up cities all over the world. If you get “rejected,” by one, there’s another one just around the corner.

So evolutionarily speaking, men developed this fear of rejection to ensure that they wouldn’t approach the women who were likely to reject them, so the other available women of the tribe, who were likely to accept them as a mating partner, wouldn’t think that they were undesirable in any way.

Is all this starting to make sense? Good.

Fear of Being In an Unknown Environment

The second fear that developed among our ancient ancestors was the fear of being in an unknown environment…

In ancient times, our ancestors were constantly fending off danger, and because they were constantly fending off danger, they wouldn’t stray too far from the tribe; otherwise, it could result in their death.

Living in a terrain or an environment where there were wild animals and different warring tribes everywhere, our ancient ancestors would be thrown in danger’s way on a day-to-day basis.

And if they were to stray too far away from the tribe and get lost, they would be in an unknown territory, where danger would be all around them.

Think about being stranded in the middle of a forest with you and possibly one or two other people… would you be confident that you could survive?

So our primal brains developed a protection mechanism to give us a fear of an unknown environment, so we wouldn’t stray too far away from our tribes.


This fear of an unknown environment translates in modern day society as the anxiety you feel when you go to somewhere for the first time.

Your primal brain is flashing “danger, danger, danger.”

That danger can be interpreted as excitement, but that’s only because our more advanced brains can rationalize that there is nothing to fear. Deep down we still feel that nervousness about being somewhere we’ve never been to before.

That’s why it‘s so hard to meet beautiful women at a venue that you’ve never been to before. It’s hard for you to relax and work up the CONFIDENCE to actually approach these women.

Fear is our Protection Mechanism

So all of our fears of approaching, meeting, attracting, and dating women have been HARDVVIRED into us to serve as a type of PROTECTION MECHANISM to ensure that our genes are able to survive and replicate! But those fears are NO LONGER NECESSARY in today’s day and age.

Moreover, there is mounting evidence that our ancestors, as early as 40,000 years ago, had less to fear from a jealous alpha-male or a new social setting than we’ve presented hear. Men and women in both hunter gatherer groups and more advanced “Atlantean” cities flirted and frolicked without fear of violence.

I want you to understand where fear of approaching women comes from, but not to exaggerate it. Whole civilizations of men have overcome this fear, and you can too.

The more you understand this, the more you will realize that YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR when it comes to approaching, meeting, attracting, and dating women.

Understanding the origin of these fears and the actions that trigger them is the first step you take towards CONQUERING them.

So congratulations… Step 1 is complete!

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About Mark Alexander 84 Articles
My obsession with pheromone began when I chosen as a subject for a study on how effective pheromones were. I was shocked with the results.

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